6 Two 3 Nine

Expert Unexpert Advice

Hollywood: You NEED Ricky Gervais

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Singer of Songs

Something celebrities seemingly pay a large premium for are people to insulate them from the real world.  This allows them to go on believing their moronic politics are insightful, their lifestyles are inspirations, their films are artistic and that people actually like them.  Subsequently, they don’t respond particularly well when Ricky Gervais drops a gigantic turd in their punch bowl by mocking them to their faces, like he did on the Golden Globes last Sunday.

Watching it (which I only did because I assumed Ricky Gervais was going to rip them all new ones) I actually thought he was kind of tame.  He made fun of Robert Downy Jr.’s drug habits, Charlie Sheen’s propensity towards hookers and violence, Tim Allen for not being as serious as Tom Hanks and called Bruce Willis “Ashton Kutcher’s dad”.  And yet there has been quite the uproar.

So here’s a message to Hollywood from America: We hate you.  We watch your movies because we want to be entertained, but save for the really vapid types that watch entertainment tonight and read stupid gossip magazines, we resent you for always finding something to complain about despite the fact that you have everything that we bust our asses for handed to you on a silver platter.  We hate you for being condescending to us despite the fact that your job and life accomplishments are bullshit.  We hate your moronic politics, we hate that you all throw gigantic televised parties celebrating how great you all think you are, we hate your fake accents, we hate your stupid clothes, one would be hard pressed to find a single thing about you people that we don’t hate.

And yet you make millions of dollars because of us.  In economics this is what one calls disequilibrium.  It means either you all need to be replaced with a bunch of people that we don’t hate so much, or we need to see less of your shitty movies (and as of late it has been the latter).

So Ricky Gervais comes along and mocks you to your stupid surgically created faces.  This actually makes us hate you less because it takes your dumb asses down a peg.  When you all freak out about it, all that does is confirm that you’re all a bunch of loser shitbags who are as 13 year old girls with absentee fathers.

So fuck off.  Seriously.  This guy is the best thing that has happened to you in a long time, and if you don’t understand that you’re probably not long for this business.

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Written by updowndownup

January 21, 2011 at 4:52 pm

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